Crucial Conversations - Solution

Software Engineering
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Crucial Conversations - Solution

By Emerson Murphy-Hill
Created 3 years ago

Duration 0:10:47
lesson view count 261
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Tags: Software Engineering
  1. Crucial Conversations

    Slide 1 - Crucial Conversations

    • One Weird Old Trick
    • Create Commons Attribution 4.0 License.
    • Material originally from Crucial Conversations.
    • Material Produced by NCSU Software Engineering Faculty.
  2. Step 1: Pick the Right Goal

    Slide 2 - Step 1: Pick the Right Goal

    • Figure out what you really want
    • School example
    • The teammate to stop being lazy
    • The teammate to commit more often
    • The teammate to commit good quality code more often
    • The teammate to contribute his fair share
    • Work example
    • The founder to admit he’s lousy at estimating
    • The founder to see what a great estimator you are
    • The founder to re-use the technology stack you propose
    • The product to be successful
    • Most people’s intuition is to “win the conversation”, but that’s never right
    • Walk into the conversation with your goal in mind
    • When you go to violence, step back, think “How would I act if I was trying to reach my goal?”
  3. Step 2: Divide Up Your Path

    Slide 3 - Step 2: Divide Up Your Path

    • Before you begin, divide your path into:
    • The Facts
    • The Story
    • The Feelings
    • The Actions
    • You’re working for a small startup of about a dozen people.
    • The founder has a vision for the product, but you think his plan for implementing it is flawed; it will take too long to implement a technology stack that doesn’t separate you from the competition.
    • You’re frustrated, but you keep your mouth shut. It’s his company, he can do what he wants, right? You’ll trudge through this until something better comes along.
  4. Step 3: Have the Conversation

    Slide 4 - Step 3: Have the Conversation

    • Begin the conversation with your facts
    • Don’t mix in the story!
    • Invite the other person to contribute their facts
    • If you’re doing it right, everyone should agree so far
    • If you still believe your story (and usually you won’t)
    • Tentatively share it, then share your feelings
    • Invite the other to share their story
    • Agree on a shared purpose
    • It’ll be your goal, if the other person agrees to it
  5. Step 4: Decide on a Resolution

    Slide 5 - Step 4: Decide on a Resolution

    • Ask Yourself
    • Who cares?
    • Who knows?
    • Who must agree?
    • How many people is it worth involving?
    • Options
    • Command
    • Consult
    • Vote
    • Consensus
  6. Crucial Conversations

    Slide 6 - Crucial Conversations

    • Tools for Talking when the Stakes are High